Rambles, ponderings, rants, and nonsense...
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Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Dear Readers,
I'm not too sure when I'll be back at Blogger, but if you happen to stumble here (at this site again), it is likely because of poetry that brought you here.
Here is my poetry journal: Poetry by Lotus. Enjoy!
Love,
A~Lotus
// rambled by A~Lotus at 2:47:00 PM
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Monday, July 03, 2006
Temporary Transition
Just those two words are awkward, but I'm writing in here to let you know that I haven't really disappeared. I tend to switch back and forth from Livejournal to here.
So...
I'm over at LJ. If you wanna catch up on the good ol' days, see me at ambiguitylotus@LJ!
Lots of <3 and hugs,
A~Lotus
// rambled by A~Lotus at 5:37:00 PM
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Thursday, October 20, 2005
Finally watched Final Destination this past weekend. It was awesome. Ah, the Design of Death. We can't escape death, yadiya, yadiya... You get the idea, but it was a great thriller/semi-horror movie (not scary though). I also had a two-day semester break, which I've used to catch up on sleep. I needed it badly. So by the time this past Wednesday rolled around, I was so not ready to go back to the school mode, but at least I felt happy that I finally feel rested this week, which is, using Orwell's 1984 terminology, "doubleplus good," instead of saying "excellent, fantastic, etc." "Why complicate life with so many synonyms?" is one of the ideas of the novel. Okay, now just talking about that book makes me fall into nostalgia of high school, which was so long ago, it seems.
Anyway, dear everyone:
I'm so terribly sorry for neglecting you all as well as neglecting to write in my journal. I wish I had the surplus amount of time I once had to WRITE, WRITE, WRITE, and BE HAPPY FOREVER WRITING, and COMMENTING on your journals/websites... *sigh* I haven't used the Internet for fun as much these days. Even if I did, I only use about an hour's worth of fun, like going to Neopets or stopping by and visiting randomly from my buddy list. Otherwise, I've become an almost full-fledged scholar, doing nothing but research for my classes in psychology. Plus, I'm running a very tight schedule. And then it makes me feel even worse that April and I kept making semi-plans to hang out and meet each other for the first time off-line, off-blogging basis that is (LOL), and it just so happens that our schedules seem to be conflicting or crazy!! Arrghh!! But I'm still trying to make time for everything... No wonder my beloved planner has become my savior; since when did I become that dependent on it?? LOL. Sometimes it's funny, other times, I think it's sad.
Anyway, until further notice, it seems like I'd be able to visit anyone who comments in my blog/site. I wish I can do so for everyone like I always do, but I can't now, with time constraints and I've been far too busy with too much to take care of... So I'm terribly sorry for that, BUT you won't be taken off of my buddy list. Fair enough?
Oh, and I'm excited to register for my classes next year, at least generally what I'm planning to take (see below):
-Research in Social Psychology (good for Social Work, which I'm considering as my 3rd option? for after my bachelor's degree in psych)
-Creative Writing: Poetry!! (yay!! Now you know that I won't have an excuse for NOT posting next year, eh? At least you'll get to read my poems, and hopefully, I'll be able to write more next year---and get back to writing! I miss it so!)
-Psychometrics
-Bioethics
-Public Speaking? (This is a Tues./Thurs. 8 am class, which I don't like. Not a morning person, and plus, I want to avoid traffic jams. So I might switch and try to find another class at another time if I can...)
So, hopefully I'll get some kind of schedule like I want above, plus I'll still be working on campus anyway (and probably training new office workers, if any) and running my presidency term for the Psi Chi Honor Society/Psychology Club.
Some people say I have too much to do. Well yeah, if I don't have anything else to do. I like applying myself out there in the world and doing things. What's the use of living if you do nothing? (Okay, maybe some folks think like that, and I respect that, but I think life should be fruitful.)
Enough of my ramblings.
Happy early Halloween, Hallow's Eve, Fall Holiday, or whatever you want to call it, to you all (just in case if I don't post within this same month)!!
Miss you all!
<3,
Kathy
P.S. My gosh, it seems like the whole nation has gotten the Astros-ian fever!! Haha. Kudos to them for contributing to Houston's history.
// rambled by A~Lotus at 11:28:00 PM
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Saturday, October 01, 2005
Friday night: watched The Exorcism of Emily Rose with my cousins. It's not as scary as I thought it would be---not really a horror movie either. I'd say it's more of a psychological-court case-freaky movie with religious connotations on some of the dialogue. But overall, it's pretty good!
Am now sick with an icky throat (I have difficulty in swallowing...) and fever and frequent sniffles and sneezes. Therefore, I'm constantly thirsty, and oftentimes my body's shivering with cold and burning like hell.
I have so many things due on Tuesday:
1 history exam
1 history book review/report
2 mini-activities reports for Experimental Psych
1 Career Expo event I think I would need to go to
1 Psi Chi/Psych Club meeting to conduct and organize
1 possible pop-up quiz for Metaphysics on some reading material
Can't figure out which I need to do first...
G'night, dear friends. I'm exhausted and sick...
P.S. My house has been turned into a full-fledged daycare for my 2 cousins and their families. Remember I was telling you all about them in the last entry, since they now have to stay with us because of Hurricane Rita? Well, screaming and crying babies and toddlers are driving me crazy. It's so hard to get anything done around here, which adds more to my stressful situation... Now, I think I need Supernanny. Maybe she'll help us devise ways to have everyone's schedules work together efficiently...and perhaps peacefully... *winks*
// rambled by A~Lotus at 11:18:00 PM
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Monday, September 26, 2005
Dear God,
Thank you for keeping us safe (from Hurricane Rita)... and alive! Houston is spared! Although we still have gas and food shortages (food as in bread, canned goods, etc.)...
Dear Friends,
Thank you for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers... And thank you for helping us in this time of need.
In a nutshell (from last week):
Wednesday - went home about 4ish pm from school; traffic was bumper-to-bumper-jammed going I-45 N; packed.
Thursday - 4 am when I woke up; 5 am drive to Spring, Texas (northwest suburban Houston), where my paternal grandparents and my aunt live; it took us 5 and 1/2 hours to get there, because we wanted to avoid I-45 N; stayed overnight; read A Durable Fire by Virginia Bernhard for history class' book report; glad I've finally finished it by Friday before we left.
Friday - 12 pm, finally left Houston; checked maps and found ways to avoid I-45 N as well as the Metro Bus from Bellaire that exploded and created more traffic; arrived at Amarillo, Texas at 10:30 pm much to my aunt, uncle, and cousins' teary relief that we were all okay; slept overnight.
Saturday - slept and rested; ate great homemade food; watched cable TV (I miss having cable!); went to the end of a football game (at least my cousin's high school won their homecoming game); chilled, chatted, etc.
Sunday - 10 am church; eat out at Golden Corral; left Amarillo at 3 pm; made a few stops, especially at Fort Worth to see my other cousins.
Monday - 2:30 am, finally home, tired as ever... Went to bed at 5 am (I love my comfy bed! I missed it!)
If we'd stayed in Amarillo longer, I would've gone with my cousin to her college and go to classes with her... and I would've gone to the movies and hung out, etc.
But I guess my dad was homesick. And he wanted to go home.
Anyway, the things I absolutely miss:
1) Being a blogger lurker and avid reader. I'm just so upset with how I can't visit everyone on my buddy list as often. And I miss everybody!! I go home dog-tired from school, work, and chauffeuring people everywhere... I'm robbed of sleep and leisure time... But I have to work to pay for gas for my car and my tuition...
2) Working on my lovely mini-website!! *cries*
Well, where I live from what I've heard and read from the news, there were fallen trees and power lines (?) and an apartment complex that was on fire... but other than that, everything's all okay.
Right now, I'm so glad my relatives from Port Arthur (this is one of the places where Hurricane Rita hit the hardest...) are all okay... And they're here now at my house. They really look exhausted and hungry. Poor things. I can't believe the stories they're telling me: flooding, roofs flying off, etc...
Anyway, thanks everyone for your concern. *huggles*
Will post a happier entry later. :)
// rambled by A~Lotus at 8:50:00 PM
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Wednesday, September 07, 2005
I forgot to document some things I've watched and read over the summer and just recently (And besides, sometimes I like to remind myself that I've read/watched these things already... I rarely read novels twice, but I can see a GOOD movie a certain number of times before I get sick of it...):
a) Watched most of the episodes of The Prince of Tennis - a really good anime, with cute guys who are tennis players (*winks*)
b) Read Blue Moon - Laurell K. Hamilton (I totally heart this author!)
c) Read Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix... Now I have yet to read the newest book.
d) Watched Final Destination 2 - a really great thriller movie... I'm gonna catch up on a whole bunch of other movies I've been wanting to see pretty soon.
Anyway, now for a semi-poem(?) I finally composed after all of these years (I haven't been writing any poems for almost 3 years already...) And after you've read this, close your eyes and try to imagine this, it's simply beautiful and relaxing. Then, read the poem again and tell me what you think:
The Denouement of Autumn
a fluttering breeze danced along
on a spiral staircase of airborne green lily pads
that led toward the pastel blue sky...
to think that it's only the wind fondly brushing
its fingertips against this tree...
each leaf dancing to the wind's seductive melody,
rippling one after another,
seconds apart from each other...
just like when she's sweeping her fingers
across the piano keyboard from the lowest note
to the highest note...
and finally,
her gaze penetrates past
the golden dust of the sun...
to see its spicy orangeness--
a perfect sphere of tricolored reds
that makes Nature indescribable...
everything is blurry-illuminated
like a mixture of fog and light...
then a single maple leaf,
curls into its own secret,
as it falls down from its tree...
and when it finally touches the ground,
the copper, red, and orange open up
and have already replaced the very last
drop of green of summer.
Today, one of my friends told me that today feels like autumn. I'm so glad that I'm not the only one sensing/feeling the early beginnings of autumn. Hence, this poem. Enjoy! (I'll do revisions to this little poem when I get around to it! :) )
Love you all! *huggles*
// rambled by A~Lotus at 9:27:00 PM
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Saturday, September 03, 2005
I am inspired with calmness and reassurance. This is a rare feeling. What does it mean to be free? At ease? Today I've felt free and at ease--for the first time in so many months? years? I've realized that I have overcome so many limitations, so many painful events in my life. To have this feeling, to know that there are people who share the same thoughts, words, and actions just like I do...
It's mesmerizing--a mystery. Something hard to explain, but yet it's there...
Despite the chaotic and tragic stories of the many hundreds and hundreds of people who have come over to Houston from the Hurricane Katrina disaster, I held on for them. I cried a little, knowing that losing homes and even the people you love can be just more than overwhelming. So I turned off the TV. It was just too much. I'm planning to help them soon--around the 12th-13th of this month at the George R. Brown Convention Center (aside from donating)...
I've realized that there are just so many things in my life that are incomparable to the events that are happening now (Louisiana & Mississippi). I have to admit that 9/11 didn't affect me that much. Yes, it was a tragic event, but I think it's because of other factors that made this Hurricane Katrina disaster a whole lot more tragic. Maybe it's the location of the tragedy, maybe it's Mother Nature, maybe it's because there are more problems to be fixed and more people to be taken care of physically and emotionally (than 9/11, which were buildings that can be rebuilt, etc.)... I mean, these people are more than displaced. They'd have to readjust! and then trying to figure out or planning out where to go from here--taking it one day at a time...
And before I did my chores today, I gazed at the peaceful pastel swirls of the clouds and the sunset and knew that I am content--just to be where I am today, especially how fortunate I am to know that Texas had escaped from the hurricane unscathed (even though we had rain and thunderstorms). Knowing that my own heart lies with those who are in need, who are tormented, who need help... Here, I follow my own destiny, my own dreams to use my heart, my wisdom, my knowledge, and my service for the world.
I've finally realized that UST has been THE perfect place for me to grow in every way. Even though there are so many transitions, changes, and challenges I'm getting adjusted to, I know that I am able to go through it all. It is my home and my strength...
I... am actually indebted to this certain person who has helped me realized this. A friend who has gone through nearly the same things I've done and thought about...
Yes, busy-ness and workaholicism seem to be the two things I bury myself under, just because I'm afraid to be consumed in such depression, frustration, and worries. These two things helped me resurface a bit and helped me stay afloat while I'm battling my way out.
Friends do help me stay sane. My family too (under normal conditions).
Escapism is lovely whenever it's needed, but ignorance is not bliss. The human intellect/will has the infinite desire to know... Just sometimes it will defend itself to act blindly and be ignorant of what's real or what's truth...
And with that, I leave you all (whoever is celebrating this holiday) with a happy and safe Labor Day (I'm just happy this is a day off. I have so much catching up to do...).
Good night, my dear friends.
// rambled by A~Lotus at 10:24:00 PM
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